1st April 2008

Matt Walsh Reveals Belichick/Mangini Sex Tape

After months of speculation, Matt Walsh has finally released a scandalous video, although not of a pre-Superbowl Rams walkthrough.

Apparently fed up with the NFL’s refusal to offer him sufficient legal protection, Walsh decided it was time to embarrass his former employers. In a hidden camera video which is sure to rock Patriot Nation, Coach Belichick and former defensive coordinator Eric Mangini are shown fornicating in a Gillette Stadium office, according to multiple media sources. The video, which starts as an inconspicuous defensive planning session but ends in romance, provides a deeper insight into the mysterious relationship between the colleagues. Much has been made of Mangini’s 2006 departure to lead the rival Jets and the subsequent post-game handshake incidents between the coaches. Walsh’s video suggests that the rift between the two is more than just professional.

“I’d always suspected that something was going on between the two of them,” said Walsh, when asked why he had set up a hidden camera, “They spent way too much time together in the video room.”

While it is still unclear whether Walsh has footage related to Spy-gate, it may be that this revelation is enough to end Belichick’s career.

“The Patriots have a very clear policy against intra-office relationships,” said team owner Robert Kraft, “I have no further comment until we have completed an internal investigation into the matter.”

According to the Patriot Employee Handbook “Patriot personnel shall not engage in romantic relationships without notifying management. Inappropriate relations between employees will be dealt with harshly at the discretion of the organization, including the possibility of termination.”

Belichick, in a brief statement released today by the team, states “The tape is what it is. I know the rules of the team, and my interpretation is that our actions were not in violation. I consider myself part of Patriot management and was well aware of our relationship. I have notified the Krafts of my interpretation and am confident that they will agree.”

The last time Belichick misinterpreted a rule it ended with a $500K fine and loss of a draft pick. Will this one result in the loss of his job? We can only wait and see.

In other news the Bruins will be demoted to the minor leagues at the end of the season, and the Red Sox have traded Clay Buchholz to the Yankees for Alex Rodriguez. Enjoy the rest of Fool’s Day!

posted by Kurti Monnier | 2 Comments