Not to wear, that’s sleezy and smells disgusting, but cheap Colon is great when pitching for the Red Sox. The Sox have signed former Cy Young award winner Bartolo Colon to a minor league contract. This is a great move for the Sox, as it is ripe with potential and low on risk. Colon, who has had a couple of bad seasons, was the American League’s best pitcher in 2005 (according to the voters), taking home the Cy Young award that year. Injuries were a big part of his downfall in the past two seasons. While there is no guarantee that 34-year-old Colon is injury free, or that he can pitch with the same velocity that made him dominant in the first few years of the century, he certainly has the potential to be a solid, if not great, starter.

While there was recent talking of adding a pitcher like Josh Fogg for depth, I am ten times happier with the Colon deal. Best case scenario, a guy like Fogg is a mediocre spot starter. He has a proven track record of being sub-par, and he’s not young enough to emerge as a surprisingly dominant force. Colon, on the other hand, could just maybe return to his dominant old self. The great thing about it is that if he doesn’t the Sox haven’t lost anything. Even if Colon emerges as a middle to bottom of the rotation starter, he could be valuable in the event of an injury. The one caveat is that I doubt he will stick around long if an injury does not occur and if he doesn’t win a spot in the rotation out of camp. A guy with his career is not going to play for a couple months in the minors, waiting to come up. He’ll either have it, or he won’t. We should know by the end of spring training.

I want to take a minute to commend Coco Crisp for his reaction to having to compete for playing time with Jacoby Ellsbury.  Coco clearly wants to be the starting center fielder, however he has taken a very reasonable approach to the situation.  Speaking to the press today, Crisp stated

“A lot of people say, well, I don’t deserve it. Well, that’s understandable too. I didn’t have a good offensive year like I did in the past….People think that my offense is terrible. Now it’s time to show them that my offense really isn’t.” (Boston Globe)

Crisp, unlike a certain individual who likes to “Cowboy up” for example, acknowledges that he hasn’t played well and is setting out to prove that he is better than people think.  By being honest yet realistic about his desire to start, Crisp avoids becoming a distraction in the clubhouse.  If he gets used to the idea of being a role player, Crisp could make a huge contribution from the bench.  He is an ideal backup, playing great defense, giving the Sox a pinch running option, and being able to hit (in theory) from both sides of the plate.  It will be a shame if Theo ends up trading him for lesser value, although it may become necessary as his desire to start is completely understandable.

The great Willie Gary is suing the Patriots. Oh, what? You’ve never heard of him? Gary’s illustrious career consisted of 6 games in 2001 with the St. Louis Rams. Now the guy with one career NFL tackle is trying to take down the Patriots. Guess what Willie Gary, you’re lawsuit is going to go about as well as your career.

For those of you who don’t subscribe to Frivolous Lawsuits Weekly, Gary wants the Patriots to pay him the $25,000 difference between the winner’s and loser’s share of the 2001 Super Bowl, as well as $125,000 for a Super Bowl ring. He is joined by fellow dolt Kevin Hacker (perfect name for a sleezeball, no?), a ticket broker who thinks that every ticket holder from that Super Bowl should receive a refund. This all stems from the rumor that the Patriots filmed the Rams’ practice prior to the game. Unfortunately for the plaintiffs, there is no evidence to support this (by the suit’s own admission), and law suits without evidence tend to do poorly. You didn’t earn a Super Bowl ring, Willie Gary. You’re not a champion. You’re not good enough to play in the NFL. You’re certainly not smart enough to win this lawsuit. Not since Ron Paul began his presidential campaign has a man with two first names embarked on a mission so doomed to fail.

Well, that one sealed the deal.  Andy Petitte has told Congressional Board members that he has had conversations with both McNamee and Clemens himself that Roger Clemens used HGH and possibly steroids in the past.  Roger is now asking America to believe:

•  The same Roger Clemens who went 11-14, 9-7, 10-5 and 10-13 with the Red Sox, went 21-7 and 20-6 with Toronto (where Brian McNamee was his personal trainer) , without the aid of performance enhancers.
• Brian McNamee, a personal trainer with a degree in sports medicine, doesn’t know the difference between a B-12 shot (in the ass) and an HGH shot (through the navel)
• McNamee injected two of Rogers teammates and workout partners, Chuck Knoblauch and Andy Petitte, and Roger’s wife, but not Roger himself.
• Petitte “misremembers” that Roger said he took HGH and that McNamee said Roger did steroids.
• McNamee, a former police officer who knows how important physical evidence is to a case, fabricated said evidence to “throw a final hail mary” to support his story.

Are you serious Roger?  It was bad enough that you chose not to end your career in Boston, the city that loved and celebrated you.  It was worse that you soiled the game by taking illegal performance enhancers.  But now your looking at a perjury conviction that carries a sentence up to 5 years.  And once you are found guilty…and oh, you will be found guilty Roger, instead of being remembered as one of the greatest pitchers of all time: the Rocket, a man to be feared on the mound, your legacy will be only that of a liar, a cheater, a false idol, and one of the greatest blemishes in history on our Nation’s great game.

It’s that time of year again. Deep into baseball’s off season, and soon all anyone will be talking about is Roger Clemens. In years past it’s been the retirement watch, as he jerks everyone around, pretending he doesn’t know whether he’ll pitch again. This time we know the answer. He won’t. Steroid talk is so much more fun.

Round 2 of McNamee vs. Clemens is about to begin, and this week has the potential to make or break our opinions. It also has the potential to be another waste of time, as both sides presents evidence which means absolutely nothing. McNamee submitting syringes with Rocket DNA is about as meaningful as Clemens’ statistical analysis of his career was. The man already admitted that McNamee injected him with substances, only it could just has easily have been B12 as steroids. The only thing the syringes prove is that McNamee is a psycho. Who keeps bloody needles lying around the house for five years? McNamee claims it was because he didn’t trust Clemens to tell the truth. Please. McNamee’s credibility is based on the fact that he loved Clemens, the man who “treated him like family”. I’m a suspicious guy, but I don’t keep evidence of every bad thing my friends ever do, just in case one day I decide to turn against them. Hear that my scrawny friends? Take ‘roids all you want, you’re in the clear.

So what could happen in these Congressional proceedings that would mean something? It all depends on Andy Pettitte. Should the man go under oath, and corroborate McNamee’s story, that will be the final nail in the coffin. If, on the other hand, he says he has no knowledge of the situation, that doesn’t exonerate Roger by any means. He could either be lying, or Clemens could have kept his drug habits a secret. It really is a no win situation for Clemens. Now he must know how all those hitters felt facing his juiced up fastball; we’ll know starting this week if he fares any better than they.

There are reports today in the Globe and Herald that Curt Schilling may have a shoulder injury. It is supposedly serious enough that the Red Sox have investigated whether they can void the pitcher’s contract, and Schilling will be out until at least the All Star break. This injury just highlights how important it was to trade for Santana; this rotation isn’t as deep as people think it is.

The Patriots got beat. They didn’t choke, they weren’t robbed by the referees, they didn’t even get outplayed, they just got beat. When the last hail mary fell to the ground rather than in the hands of Randy Moss it was a rare feeling of pure disappointment. There is usually a bad call to blame, or a player who can’t handle the pressure, or a Grady Little who forgets how to manage, but not today. Today there was no anger, just disappointment.

And yes, this was the most disappointing loss in my sports life. In 2003, after a ‘roided out Aaron Boone hit the game winning home run, I would have contested this claim. But looking back now, with the championships of ‘04 and ‘07, that loss seems like nothing. I’d like to think that next year, or a few years from today, I will look back on the 2008 Super Bowl and think, “It’s too bad, but at least they made up for it since”, but the overwhelming odds are that it won’t happen.

We knew, even in 2003, that the Red Sox would have another chance to win the World Series. Do we know now that the Patriots will ever, in our life times, get another chance for a perfect season? Of all the football seasons left, from now until you die, next year is the best opportunity they have of winning that 19th game. And, if you had to bet right now, what are the chances of that? 10%? 5%? After that it gets even more unlikely. When you factor in the potentially once-in-a-lifetime run of New England dominance, what with the success of the Red Sox and Celtics, the loss seems all that more tragic.

But in the end, this tragic ending can’t be pinned on the Patriots. Even in their one loss, the Pats played as close to perfect a game as you can hope for. The coaching was great, Tom Brady was his usual mistake-free self, the defense was terrific. The team’s one glaring problem in this game: the offensive line. But even they weren’t blowing assignments or being penalized. They played as well as they could against a great Giants rush.

And the Giants played as well as they could. They too were near perfect. Were they the better team? No. In the end things broke their way. Sometimes, when you put yourself in a position to win, a receiver will make a catch with their helmet, and an interception which would end the game will be inches out of the cornerback’s reach. Today was that day, and the Giants deserve the win; nothing can be taken away from them for catching some breaks. Giants fans should be very proud of their team, a team that did something no one thought they could do. Just be aware, I hope your team makes it back to the Super Bowl next year, because the Patriots will be their waiting for you.

In the end, as disappointed as I am, it doesn’t take away at all from what I admire about the 2007 Patriot team. They strove for perfection, and worked their asses off to achieve it. They played as a team, and were humble to the end. The Patriots may not have a perfect record, but they are the perfect team. And, because they’re the perfect team, they’ll be back.

February 3, 2008. Super Bowl Sunday, the greatest day in sports. If the World Series took place in a day it would probably be better, but it doesn’t. Today also marks the third consecutive major sport’s finals in which New England is participating. In October, the Red Sox; November, the New England Revolution; and after suffering for two and a half long months without a championship game, the Patriots will play for the Super Bowl. Even if they lose, which they won’t, this has been one of the greatest stretches this region will see in our lifetimes. Should the Celtics make it to the finals in June, it may be the best stretch ever.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves or caught up in the recent past. Today is a day to appreciate the Patriots, and that is why I am breaking my streak of 156 days without touching a cooking pan or baking dish, to make the guests of my Super Bowl party a dip for their tortilla chips. After enjoying months of Patriot perfection it’s the least I can do. As I said two weeks ago, I expect this perfection to continue and, in honor of the three past championship Pats teams, am picking New England by 3.

And with that short post, it’s off to the kitchen. I’ll be back sometime after the game, either tonight or tomorrow, depending on how late we party. If you’re hoping for tonight, don’t hold your breath.