Alright Bill, you win again. You want us to play your little games and we can’t help ourselves. And really, what are we supposed to do? Who isn’t at least a little curious as to why Tom Brady is missing? I’m sure the Giants coaches are out right now searching for the New England quarterback instead of looking at game tape and motivating their team with false hope for next Sunday.

Well that’s probably a bit optimistic. But to be honest, even as we play along with Belichick’s hide-and-seek shenanigans, we all know that our precious quarterback is fine. Have any doubts? Here’s what we know:

1. The injury isn’t serious. It was supposedly sustained during the Chargers game, yet it was minor enough that we didn’t even notice it at the time. Brady may be tough enough to make the likes of Philip Rivers envious, but I’m pretty sure you can’t cover up running around on a serious ankle sprain. Additionally, he was seen walking around again a few hours after he had the boot on, sans boot. God bless the paparazzi for keeping us all so up-to-date, I’m sure Tom doesn’t find it annoying at all.
2. There are only three possible reasons to hide Tom from the media. He either a) is completely fine, and Belichick simply wants to mess with the Giants’ heads, b) is trying to hide a serious injury so that the Giants don’t game plan for it, or c) has been kidnapped by the Dolphins because they’ve given up on Cleo Lemon. Since we have already established that ‘b’ is false, and ‘c’ is too low even for Bill Parcells, we are left with the psychological ploy theory.

So there’s nothing to be worried about, you can take Brady’s picture off of that milk carton. I’m sure that while the media searches the locker room Tom is sitting in Coach Belichick’s office staring through the keyhole and giggling. My personal theory is that Belichick wants the Giants to blitz a lot, which they may be wont to do if they think Brady is playing on a bum ankle.

Hey, I guess it’s worth a shot, and at worst the coach has given everyone something to do while we wait for the game. I know I’ve had so much fun I’m off to peruse some children’s books for Waldo.